Mid week run #2 sans baby....kinda. I brought my mom along to watch/walk with the little tyke so I can get some serious training done. Things started off good. GPS Running app working...check. Baby taken care of....check. My music is selected and ready.....check. I'm hydrated and ready to roll. Now lets get movin.....Eeh.
The leg cramps started first; back of both legs, ouch!! I keep on, waiting for the morphine/endorphin's your body naturally produces to kick in and get rid of the pain. It doesn't. Mmmmm, maybe it does. After awhile the pain starts to subside. Could be because I slowed down, could be the opiates....only my body knows. During the first 3-5 minutes of my run, I really feel like stopping, giving up and going home. Like I really REALLY feel this way. I continue to feel this way for the duration of my run. I cannot stress the fact enough of how much I truly dislike running. Why oh why in the world did I ever think I could do this? Why oh why do I WANT to do this? These thoughts course through my head continuously as I carry on around the Forum. I'm beginning to get a cramp in my side. Is all this pain worth it? Is any of this worth it?
My friend called the other day. The one who is running the marathon with me; my running buddy. She called to check up, make sure I've been training and gloat. Since our first Saturday run, she ran the following Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. How do I tell my friend I think I've made a horrible.....little mistake. I don't want to do this anymore. It's much harder than I thought. It was my idea to do the marathon. I had to convince her to join. Literally kicking and screaming she was. I had to call her a bunch of names (coward, punk, loser, to name a few) just to get her interested. Now she's loving it and I want to quit. OMG I haaaaatttteee running!!!! Soldier on my ass. I want to sleep in on Saturdays, eat popcorn with a nice cold Pepsi (with a little/lot of rum) while watching a movie on my couch late at night on Fridays or early Saturday mornings. Not worry about pace groups and minute/miles, Garmin watches, moisture wicking socks, chafing, energy gels, sports bras, AAAHHHH the lists go on and on.
Don't get me wrong. I totally want all of this stuff. I think that's why I wanted to run in the first place. The idea of running, plus obsessing about all the extra stuff that goes along with it sold me for sure. I love to research, investigate and SHOP. I'm like a bored housewife or a rich lady on the planning committee of a charity. Doing something to divert my attention away from my otherwise boring and uneventful life. Just trying to fill my time. I've done all the research, planning, organizing and whatnot. But of course I don't really want to deal with those poor people, or talk to them, or get to know them. I just want to be appreciated and applauded for the work I put into saving them. It's like going on a date with your long time crush. After God only knows how many days, months, years you've obsessed over this person. You finally go out, eat, talk, play, have your goodnight kiss and then.....eh "that's what all the hoopla was about." Life was better when you loved them from afar. Now your just disappointed and bitter.
Lizzie, promise yourself 1 grand gift when you complete the marathon. Adrian and I went to Hawaii. It was the best feeling (imagine, you will be in your best shape by then, you can wear your 2-piece, woot woot!). Having done the marathon is a great feeling, especially not a lot can do it. Yes, you can. Stop talking yourself down.
ReplyDeleteKudos to your mom for watching over Adriana, she's been supportive and awesome..
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